Understand the true meaning of children asking for the “right of trial and error”

  In a survey conducted by Wuhan Middle School on whether students are “obedient”, more than 50% of parents think that their children are “disobedient”, but more than 70% of children think that they are “obedient”. The effectiveness of parent-child communication between parents and children appears A large deviation. The students generally “Tucao” is that parents will experience their life imposed on them, but they have ignored the idea of an independent entity, the students appealed: “Please give us the right to trial and error!”
  Students and parents in cognitive , Contradictions and differences in communication are widespread. This year, due to special reasons for epidemic prevention and control, students have been studying at home for a long time, making this parent-child conflict even more prominent. The essence of asking parents for the “right of trial and error” is to show that they are independent individuals who are thoughtful and autonomous, and should be respected, recognized and understood by their parents. This reflects the children’s desire for “independence”, and also reflects the shortcomings and deficiencies in family education.
  It should be said that the so-called “right of trial and error” requested by the children should not mean “knowing that it is wrong, but also knowing that it is wrong, and acting on its own will”, but it should be “willing to try without knowing or uncertain whether it is wrong.” . Through the children’s revealing thoughts on the questionnaire, people can understand the true meaning and appeal behind it. For example, “Parents and children have their own positions. The parents may be right, but the children’s ideas are not necessarily wrong.”; “We have personal ideas and want to try”; “What we have learned and the worldview are related to parents There are differences, but they require similarities while reserving differences, respect differences, and empathize with them” and so on. It is not difficult to see from this that children are not disobeying their parents’ suggestions, but hoping to prove their right or wrong through practice, and are unwilling to bow their heads and accept them all.
  Based on the principle that “parents are the children’s first teacher”, parents use their own growth experience, life experience and practical insights to educate children to guide them to make fewer mistakes and make fewer detours. This is not wrong in itself, but it can be described as well-intentioned. However, love and kindness must be supplemented by correct and scientific expressions in order to achieve the desired effect, otherwise it will be counterproductive and haste will not be achieved. Parent-child education should be based on respect for children’s personality, heart-to-heart and equal dialogue, and give children the right to express their wishes, the autonomy to dare to try, and the right to try and make corrections when they know their mistakes. Parents should adopt an enlightened attitude of democracy, rationality, letting go, and decentralization, and abandon the parental style of “my child is my birth, everything listens to me” and “all for your good, don’t be a white-eyed wolf”. Support children to think and try independently and allow them to make mistakes and detours.
  Of course, given the child’s experience shortage and cognitive limitations, parents’ guidance, reminders and corrections to their children’s words and deeds are indispensable. Parents should trust their children to the extent that their children can bear the results, and limit the so-called “right of trial and error” to a range that is predictable and controllable. It is necessary to prevent the children’s behavior from causing inconvenience to others or harming others It is also necessary to avoid children’s actions affecting their own health or endangering the safety of themselves and others.
  When watching their children “hit the South Wall”, parents can silently take protective measures and prepare the psychological for the child’s possible failure. Parents should be good at “big ears” that listen to their children’s voices and “small mouths” that are less murmurs, and draw close parent-child relationships with deep empathy and respect for personality, enter the children’s hearts, and let the children be in the affection and subtlety of the family Get close to your parents and receive guidance.